Duality - A different face of gifted

When being both/and seems inconsistent with reality.....

Being two different and seemingly opposite things can be hard, being Twice Exceptional or 2E is no exception to this rule of nature. In this video I talk about another "face" of gifted, one that is often misunderstood and seldom discussed with depth or openly invited to participate in the world of gifted. Today, I try to give a bit of a voice to what it is like homeschooling and parenting twice exceptional children.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. Please take a moment to visit others participating in the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum blog hop.

Why #IStandwithAhmed is so Important

The story has now gone viral of a young man, a tinkerer, a maker, an inventor - being arrested at school. The story can be found far and wide, but the short version is 14 year old Ahmed Mohamed built a clock at home in his spare time. He was proud of his invention and took it to school to show one of his teachers. The clock was in his backpack in English class and started to beep. The English teacher asked what it was and when Ahmed pulled it out, the teacher assumed it was a bomb. Ahmed was sent to the principal's office, the police were called, and Ahmed was led out in handcuffs and taken to a detention center. You can read more of the story here: http://news.yahoo.com/muslim-boy-14-arrested-making-clock-mistaken-bomb-114747334.html#

Why such a big response to a kid inventor? It is pretty clear from the report that the response from the school and the police department were the direct result of Ahmed being a Muslim student. In the mind of his English teacher, the principal, the arresting officers, and even the police chief - it was reasonable to assume that Ahmed would make a bomb, but not a clock.

This assumption of ill intention, criminality, of having people really and truly believe the worst in you is a common thing faced by many Black/Brown children and teenagers. While there is no official claim by his family that Ahmed is gifted, he has a hobby that is common to many gifted children, including my own, being a builder, a maker, a tinkerer, and an inventor.

When I first heard the story, my heart sank. I was immediately transported back to the time when I was standing in a room at the daycare center, being told that my eldest, who was 9 month old at the time, was showing signs of violence and aggression. I was shocked and horrified; not my loving little guy! As I prodded to see exactly what behavior the teacher was referring to I was told that he was throwing balls at children and adults. I asked them to demonstrate and they tossed the ball the same way I had seen my son do many times. I asked them a simple question, "Did you ever catch the ball and throw it back?" No, they hadn't. My son had been playing catch with his father for a few weeks, he just wanted to play catch with his daycare teacher and peers. Instead of assuming my little 9 month old baby was smart enough, bright enough, to know how to play catch, they assumed he was a thug in a diaper and was trying to use the little foam ball as a weapon against his teachers and his other classmates. They never saw a gifted child, just a criminal in the making. I was able to advocate for my son and he got his first "grade skip" out of the baby room and into the toddler room with his "peers" who were all playing catch, even though they were all twice his age. It was the first of many grade skips, then I was tired of advocating and fighting against negative stereotypes and we finally brought all three children home.

Seeing Ahmed in handcuffs, I saw my worst fear in front of me. I saw in his expression of fear and confusion the face of my own three makers. I saw the very reason why we had to pull them out of the traditional school system and bring them home to a safe environment. An environment where they can make contraptions and no one assume they are making weapons. Home - where they can explore chemistry and no one assume they are trying to play Jr. terrorist. A place where they can invent and tinker and no one view their innocent hobbies with distrust, or assume their intentions are anything but pure creativity to be applauded and encouraged. But, most Black and Brown makers, inventors, and tinkerers aren't home. Most are not in a safe environment where their passion for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math is encouraged and allowed to thrive and grow. It is for Ahmed and the many children and teens like him that we must show solidarity - across racial and religious lines. This isn't about standing with one young Muslim child that was judged not on the basis of his brilliance, but of negative stereotypes of his religion, but for standing with the thousands of children just like him being viewed with suspicion and distrust, having their innocent passions crushed in a school-to-prison pipeline that can't seem to be plugged with enough force to make it stop for good. Ahmed has gotten support from across the world, including the President of the United States. I am overwhelmed with joy, but there are more like him that we still need to support and encourage.

When I saw Ahmed in a video talking about his clock, I couldn't help but think of Benjamin Banneker and his wooden clock he made with his own hands. It has been a long time since a clock maker changed the way the world viewed him and those of his faith and/or ethnicity. Ahmed, we stand with you today and we look forward to seeing all of your great inventions in the future! Keep making my friend!

F16 Parenting - that space between

Photo: By Limkopi at en.wikipedia [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

I get asked quite a bit about our "parenting philosophy" and I finally started to describe it as being an "F16 Parent". This is somewhere between the concept of the "Helicopter Parent" and the "Free Range Parent". In a nutshell, we give lots of freedom - with a ton of back-up "fire power" if there is the need for intervention. You never know when that safe Bruce Banner loses his mind and goes all Hulk Smash, putting your child in harms way! Here is a video where I give a more in-depth description of what an F16 Parent means to us!

Well, I am off to finish helping my 9 year old pack for his 3 week adventure and polishing up the fighter jet in case it's needed for "reinforcement"

Is Every Child Gifted?

The picture above is a box of "giftedness". Apparently all children have this magically box, some are just told they can't have theirs just yet. Is that helpful or just plain cruel?

Every few months there comes about a blog post or a FB meme stating "Every child is gifted." The latest one rolling around in social media land states, "Every child is gifted, they just unwrap their packages at different times." These memes never answer the question of what do we call children that learn and absorb information at a much higher rate than what we would expect to find in the human population? What should we do with those children? Should we require them to sit in the same class as all the other children (since everyone is gifted) and stare at the wall while everyone else tries to learn what they mastered two years ago? Should we require them to help the teacher get the other students up to their level, using them as unpaid tutors and teacher's aides? Should we give them extra work as punishment for finishing early? Should we tell them "you aren't so smart" and try to find things they suck at in order to embarrass them and bring them down a few pegs? I ask because, these are ALL things that happen when people with the premise that "every child is gifted" are put in charge of the education of gifted children. It becomes a mission to prove that kid really isn't that bright.

If everyone "unwraps their package at different times", why do we make the kids that have already "unwrapped their package" sit and wait while other people try to figure out how to unwrap theirs? Even worse, do the kids who haven't "unwrapped their package" sit around frustrated because everyone is telling them, "You're just as good as Little Johnny, just get that package unwrapped!" while they struggle with concepts that are appropriate for them to be struggling with at that time. Telling EVERY kid that are just as "gifted" as the math genius sitting next to them, or the spelling whiz in the class next door, or the kid down the hall that just got the patent for an invention then sets the precedent that EVERY kid is actually expected to be a math genius or a spelling whiz or a peer reviewed published scientist by the time they reach middle school. What happens when they aren't, but everyone keeps telling them they should be? Have you seen the pressure being put on kids today? Thank the "every child is gifted" folks for that.

Here is the point I think is missed with these "everyone is gifted" commentaries - most people aren't gifted - and they are doing fine in life! Not every leading scientist if gifted. Not every mathematician is gifted. Not every prima ballerina is gifted. Not every spelling bee champ is gifted. A non gifted child can STILL graduate with a 4.5, get a full ride scholarship to a top university, and lead a happy and fulfilling life. Being gifted may put a child ahead in "school" (sometimes), but it by no means puts them ahead in life. What is the point of telling a child they are gifted, just a "late bloomer" when there is absolutely zero lifetime advantage from being gifted? For every Einstein there are thousands of gifted people that became scientists whose names we never, ever read about - because they never did anything "notable". Just like for every Michael Jordan there are thousands of athletically superior basketball players that never played competitively after high school, or just did "okay" in college, or never made it off the bench in the NBA. And then you have the scores of people that played the hand they were dealt and we know their story as well. We know their name because they did something notable in this world.

The problem is - we assume EVERY successful scientist, mathematician, engineer, artist, playwright, etc. is/was "gifted". We have determined that in order to be amazingly successful one must be "gifted". This is the greatest tragedy in the entire debate of whether every child is "gifted". Instead of the conversation being "every child is gifted", why can't we say, "Not every child is gifted, but given the most appropriate tools, attention, experience, and opportunity - every child can be amazing." Gifted is not a one way ticket to an amazing life, it isn't even a head start. Gifted children need different things in their education simply because the way they process information and navigate the world is different. If not provided with those appropriate tools - we limit their chance at being "amazing" - whatever that means for them. It is also true that by trying to force fit children that fit the normal curve of human intelligence into a gifted box and push them in ways that work for gifted kids, but don't work for others - we limit their chance of being amazing - whatever that means for them.

The next time someone finds themselves spouting that "every child is gifted", ask yourself why. Maybe you should think about how harmful it is to a child to tell them they are simply "waiting to unwrap their gift". You are telling them they aren't good enough right now, the way they are. You are telling them they are incomplete and their true self is in a box somewhere - waiting to be let out. You are telling them that they don't currently have what it takes to be good, let alone great. You are telling them the ability to be amazing is somehow off limits and out of reach for them until this mysterious box of "gifted" is unwrapped at some later time. You have, in fact, done the opposite of what your whole "gifted" meme was trying to portray. Instead of telling every child they are special, you have told 90% of all children (because only around 10% of the population would be clinically classified as gifted) that they are behind, stunted in growth, late to bloom, inferior, and in a holding pattern for intelligence and success. You have told them that who they are, today, right now - isn't good enough. And, with the premise that they are the ones who "unwrap" this gift - you have told them it is all their fault.

Please visit: http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/resources/parent-and-professional-resources/articles/are-all-children-gifted/

Depth - the Gifted Child's Number One Passion

"Help your child find their passion!" We all tend to hear these words in one way or another. I remember being able to rattle off the areas of passion for my three gifted children. However, I noticed something. As they got older (and by older I am talking the 5 - 7 age range), their passions seemed to be changing. They would pick something up for three months, then seem to just toss it to the side. However, about a year later they would come back to that discarded topic and start right back where they left off.
At first I got frustrated, but then I realized something. They stuck with a topic until they reached a point where learning more would take skills beyond what they had at that moment. Maybe they would need mathematical concepts they had not yet mastered, maybe they would need a level of abstract reasoning abilities beyond their current level of maturity. Whatever it was, they seemed to know when they hit their limit of what they could understand. What was interesting - if they couldn't learn more, if they couldn't learn deeper - they would rather walk away until they could. Surface level knowledge and understanding just wasn't enough for them.
This is one thing that seems to really set apart gifted children, especially highly to profoundly gifted children. It isn't so much having a passion, it is the way they go about pursuing their passion. The absolute drive to see as deeply inside an object, an area of study, even an idea - is unrelenting.
As our homeschooling journey continues, I am seeing our homeschool diverge even from those we had been traveling with for a while. Other homeschoolers seemed to be able to move swiftly from one topic to another. It might be hydraulics one week and dissections the next. People would look at us and say, "Your kid is still working on solar ovens? We did a solar oven three years ago!"
This expression of surprise was the key to my understanding just how the differences of gifted children manifest in those middle years. It wasn't enough for my eldest to build a solar oven. He had to study it, to see how he could get it to work more efficiently. He had to work with designs and invent new components that he hadn't seen tried before. It was never enough to simply "do" and move on. He couldn't move on until he understood as much as he could; and yes, three years later he is still working on solar ovens. He is also still working on geography, still working on studies of weasels, still working on learning about the environment. My daughter is still working on astronomy. People seemed a bit surprised - "Didn't she do a report on the eight planets when she was five years old, including telling us why Pluto got demoted? Isn't she done?" No, she isn't. At seven years old she understands there are years and years of things left for her to learn. And yes, she is still studying animals and nature. Her twin brother is still, two years later, reading the same book on "building" - he truly wants to understand what it is going to take to be an inventor, a builder, a creator.
I can't name just one passion they have, but I can articulate their number one passion - depth. To other people it looks like my children have simple jumped into a few small puddles - they don't understand that while the surface area of those puddles are small, those puddles are miles deep. My kids can't be finished with a topic by simply completing a project or report - they can't leave until there is nothing more that can be known with their capacity to understand in that moment.
I get we might be left behind while other people move from one project to the next. That is okay - I am focusing on letting my kids pursue their passion.

Why Professor X Needed a School for the Gifted

In this month's Gifted Homeschooler's Forum Blog Hop we got an opportunity to talk about why community was important. Going back to my "mutant roots" let's talk about  why Professor X, of the X-Men, needed a school for the gifted - and why us mere humans need such a community as well.

Hope you enjoy!

Remember - Mutant and Proud!

Join me for a webinar on Teaching the Dyslexic Advantages with a STEM Homeschool

While many people know we have a STEM based homeschool, most don't know the driving reason behind that decision was the way STEM lends itself to maximizing the dyslexic advantages. I learned about the advantages of dyslexia through a book by Drs Brock and Fernette Eide, both MDs. Their book, "The Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain" described the four common advantages, or strengths, associated with dyslexia. I took each of the found "M.I.N.D." strengths and integrated them as fundamental principles in our homeschool with amazing results. The way I integrated those strengths was through have a STEM based homeschool.
After following this philosophy for going into our fourth year, I see my children not only thrive, but exceed my wildest expectation.
I had a conversation with Dr. Fernette Eide, talking to her about our homeschool and how we used the dyslexic advantages and she asked if I would be willing to share what we do in our homeschool with others. I am so excited about the opportunity to do just that with a webinar taking place this Wednesday, October 8th, at 5:30 PM PST. If you would like to attend, please feel free to register at the link below. I will be explaining in depth how we set up a STEM based homeschool, how we integrated the dyslexic advantages into every aspect of our homeschool, and advice for others who think all or parts of this philosophy will work for them. The webinar is free and should last roughly an hour. Hope to see you there. Click on the link below to register.

Click here:
Dyslexic Advantage Webinar: Teaching the Dyslexic Advantages with a STEM Homeschool