The 'Other' Race to Nowhere

A bit of a rant for the day: The risks of over acceleration or The ‘Other’ Race to Nowhere

This rant isn't coming from the perspective of a mom of three gifted kids, it is coming from a person that has taught at the collegiate level for seventeen years now. This rant is about a startling trend I see happening in the homeschool community. The trend is radical acceleration based solely on the academic ability of young children. Technically speaking, radical acceleration is when a child is advanced three or more years in educational standing versus age. Statistically speaking, very few twelve to fifteen year olds are ready to be full time college students. Academic ability has very little to do with that assessment. College is fundamentally different from K-12 in a number of ways, but the main difference is what the role of a professor is versus the role of a teacher. My job is content specific - my colleges and universities focus on the rigor of my coursework. There is no penalty if I give a test and 90% of the students fail. Learning the content becomes the responsibility of the student.

Another difference between a professor and a teacher is our relationship with the parent. Mainly - I have no relationship with the parent. It is against the law that I speak with anyone besides the student in regards to how the student is doing in my classroom. No reporting of grades to parents, no parent teacher conferences, no phone calls or text message exchanges between us. You get no look into the academic experience your child is having in my course, you don’t get to walk in and sit in the back of the class, you don’t get to pull out your child’s papers and ask me why they got the grades they did, you don’t get to come in and take photos or videos of their fancy presentation they worked on for days. While there is some exception for discussion if the child has an identified disability that includes accommodations approved by the disability office, for the most part - your child is on their own.

Regardless of how young in the face your child may look, or that their voice hasn’t yet changed - I have no inkling to their age. I will not be impressed that they are ten or twelve or fifteen, that isn’t something I take into consideration. That also means I won’t be changing our topics or focus of lectures or discussion. If someone wants to talk about the rape of Nanking, with graphic photos - it happens. If someone wants to discuss the legalization of marijuana - it happens. There is no ‘kid filter’ or ‘sensitive ears’ alert that comes into play. College is the world of adults, and everyone in my class needs to be fully ready and prepared for adult based conversation.

The goal of higher education is not to simply reinforce the norms, customs, and ideas of your personal household; it is to challenge the thinking of adult students. The goal is to encourage debate that leads to deeper knowledge and understanding. Let me put it a bit more bluntly - the job of a college professor is not to continue the parenting process. While most books written for the K-12 audiences encourages minor aged students to talk with their parents about beliefs, norms, customs, and family traditions and philosophies - that isn’t going to happen in a college classroom. One of the biggest complaints I hear from parents is how so many children, “lose their religion” when they get to college. Consider how strong the foundation is that was laid and whether your child is ready to defend what you have fought so hard to instill. Remember, in a college course you cannot defend a text with that very text. Your child doesn’t get to argue that the Bible is true because the Bible says that it is true. Are they ready to defend the idea that the son of their God is named Jesus when the letter “J” wasn’t invented until the middle 1500’s and wasn’t used consistently until the early 1600’s. Are they ready to not have their faith shaken when they say the Bible changes not, and someone can show them over 100 iterations and fundamental changes in the text from versions like the Bishop’s Bible and the 1611 KJV through the present? And it isn’t just the Christian faith that gets questioned, every norm, custom, belief, and practice is put up for debate. Is your child ready to go to bat for circumcision if that is a sacred belief in your household? Is your thirteen year old ready to have veganism questioned and debated? Are they ready to hold their own against people double, triple, quadruple their age? Are they ready to stand alone in their arguments and leave the room not questioning everything, including their own existence? Are they ready to hear about things ‘you’ didn’t know and didn’t know to teach them, and not feel that ‘you’ can no longer be trusted. See - that is a part of maturity. As adults, we understand that no one knows everything, we know our parents could have been plain wrong on some things - but our own beliefs and ideas are solid enough to push through those instances and chalk it up to ‘the knowledge of their time’. Is your fifteen year old ready for that? Your twelve year old?

As a professor, I see your child no more than three days a week for no more than four hours total per week. I don’t know your child. I can’t see if they are stressed or overwhelmed or showing the danger signs of clinical depression. All college students struggle at some point, but is your younger child ready to take on these struggles alone? How will they fair if those emotions are tied in with the end stages of puberty and all the hormonal imbalance that goes with it? Are they able to reach out for help if they need it? One thing colleges don’t like to talk about, but is a reality, is the number of attempted suicides that take place on campuses annually. Those most at risk are the ones that were very high achievers and this is their first time facing real academic challenge. Has your young child experienced real failure? Do they know how to bounce back? Do they know that grades aren’t everything? Do they know how to navigate to plan B when plan A fails? Please ask yourself - can they truly handle failure?

How are they with navigating people? Do they understand things like micro aggression? Do they know how to handle sexual harassment? Do they know how to identify a narcissist or sexual predator? Do they know how to watch their drink (yes, even a Coke) and do they know how to implement the Buddy System? Do they know what to do if they think their drink has been spiked? Do they know how to deal with emotional manipulation and can they spot if someone is trying to groom them for sexual or other exploitation? Have they learned how to recover from a broken heart?Do they know how to self advocate? Do they know their human rights? Do they know all the local laws and rules and do they know what to do if they are ever arrested or accused of a crime? Does your daughter or son know what to do if they have been lured away from campus on the grounds of ‘studying’ or ‘tutoring’ only to find out the person was trying to have sex with them? Do they know what to do if they are dropped off on the side of the road ten miles from campus because they said “no”? How are they with working in groups? Do they know how to navigate the different personalities? Do they know how to handle group projects where some people blow the project off or procrastinate or plagiarize?

Finally, think about where you are racing your child to and why. Again, I know many children that radically accelerated. The youngest full time college student that I know started at nine years old. He was ready. He was also actively pursued by the university he attended. There was work and research waiting for him. He was also going into a field where age was a relatively mute point, most people entered the field relatively young anyway. Make sure your child knows the reality of the situation that comes with finishing college very young. Age discrimination is only protected at the far end. This means while it is not legal for me to deny someone a job simply because they are 50, I CAN deny someone a job simply because they are 20. Think about it, would you want your direct supervisor to be 19 years old? You want to sit down and seek approval to take a vacation with your family from a 21 year old? Take a stroll through some companies that employ people in the field your child wants to go in to. How many people did they hire in at 18 years old for a degree positive position? I finished my PhD at 26 years old, and even then there were times that I had to fight for respect from my peers. This isn’t about discouraging you or your child, this is about preparing them for reality. When people are deciding whom to give an internship or other research based grant - roughly half of all the people that apply are qualified. After that, it is just a matter of whom you want to work with. Companies that are dealing with sensitive data, government projects, and/or high priced equipment aren’t concerned about any perceived prestige that might come from having a 17 year old genius on the team. They are wondering how having a minor in the room might affect their insurance or their standing with things like child labor laws (because interns generally work long, late hours). Yeah, that’s right folks - even if your child is in college, if they are a minor they are subject to child labor laws. Do you really think some organization is going to want to deal with the burden of the extra paperwork and requirements when they can just select a 20 year old with the exact same credentials as your child? Being young might get you in the door of a university and maybe a couple pictures in the local paper, but that doesn’t translate to getting you hired and working in your field of choice.

I am not saying don’t accelerate, all of my kids are slated to graduate high school before the age of 18. However, we as a family have fully counted the cost. We did our research and put everything in perspective. That is why we made the choice to not radically accelerate our children. The choice had absolutely zero to do with academic ability. My ten year old would do fine in some college classes right now. My eight year olds have both passed “college level” Coursera courses. Guess what? They aren’t ready for college, even though they could probably handle the work, especially by the age of 12 or 13. Here is the thing I think many people haven’t considered - it is fundamentally impossible to run out of high school courses, especially as homeschoolers. I know a public high school that is only 3 years (starts at 10th grade) that has 16 math courses available for students to take, and the lowest course is Algebra 1. There are ten different choices for history. There are over 20 different science classes available. There is no need to rush to college. Dual enrollment is also an option if a child needs additional rigor in some areas. Just remember that past a certain amount of credits, the child may no longer be considered an incoming Freshman - this might limit extensively their opportunities for scholarships. Also remember that some scholarships have age requirements, with students needing to be at least 17 years old to apply - but they also have to be an incoming Freshman.

Take it from a college professor - college is NOT all there is to life. College is a tool that helps you get to where you ultimately want to be in life, college is not the goal of life. While academics are a large part of the college experience, they aren’t the only part of the college experience, and for many - they aren’t the most important part. Remember, education, just like life, is not a race. Radical acceleration is an important tool that is vital to the appropriate development of many children, but that doesn’t negate the fact that it’s should be statistically rare. Being ready for college level work doesn’t automatically mean young children (again, this means those three or more years younger than the typical starting age of 18 for a full time college Freshman) are ready for college.

I know this isn’t an easy conversation to have. We all, as homeschool parents, are trying to do what is best for our children. Homeschooling gifted children is tough, we have to make so many more choices, often times much earlier, than most homeschool families will experience. But, we must go into those choices with our eyes wide open.

First semester review of Art of Problem Solving PreAlgebra Online course

I think one of the hardest things to decide on is a math curriculum when homeschooling, especially when hitting the middle school years. In our homeschool, middle school starts in the 5th grade, or when a child reaches PreAlgebra. For us that was this year with my then nine year old, Speedster. This is going to be an in-depth review of the first semester of the Art of Problem Solving online Prealgebra course.

Speedster has always been a "mathy" kid. I have tried to choose challenging programs for him, but never really found the right "fit" until we got to 4th grade last year. The combination of CTC Math and Beast Academy was good for him. It was the first time he really had to think about what he was doing in his math work. He worked through Beast Academy 4A - 4D and CTC Math 5th and 6th grade. Beast Academy did not have the 5th grade series ready for this school year, so we decided to make the leap to Art of Problem Solving PreAlgebra.

Let me start by saying the book is huge and even a little intimidating. The book itself is over 500 pages (not including the separate solutions manual), and lots of words. That can be a bit intimating for a severe dyslexic, even a profoundly gifted one. But, I knew the time was right for him to begin this program. My husband and I talked and decided to enroll him in the online program and purchase a copy of the online text as well.

I cannot say how happy I am with that decision. First, we definitely needed the text copy of the book. Speedster participates in a math circle and they use this textbook as their guide, so I am not disappointed with the purchase of the text. That said, the online version of the text is amazing! There are a couple of reasons why I truly love the online version of the book. The first is because the videos that are aligned with each chapter of the text are embedded in the book. So, no searching through video files and wondering if you are watching the correct one, the video that you need for an additional explanation is right there waiting for you. Second is that practice problems located in the book can be answered in the online text. Once you answer the question (and only after you answer the question) you can click, "take me to the solution" and you will be able to immediately compare your answer to the solution(s) provided.

Okay, enough about the book, now on to the actual online class. I believe all classes are offered in the evenings. This is because many students that take these courses are traditionally schooled students looking for additional challenge or preparing for math competitions. Class sizes are relatively large for an online program, Speedster's class has around 25 students. However, class size is never an issue.

The first component is the live session. The live session runs 1 1/4 hours (for us the class is 6:30 PM - 7:45 PM) one night a week. This was a bit tough on Speedster at first as he wasn't used to having an academic class so late in the day, but he learned to manage the time quickly. The live sessions have a lead teacher as well as teaching assistants. Teaching assistants are there to help students with questions in real time. For instance, the lead teacher will ask a question. Answers do not appear automatically on the screen. All students submit answers and only some of those that provided the correct answer will come on the screen. Those who did not provide a correct answer or who seem to be struggling a bit will have a private window that opens where the teaching assistant will help to guide them through the concept. This is brilliant as it ensures students who need help receive it and there is no shame associated with needing a bit more guidance. Because answers are put on the screen quickly, it also encourages students to answer fast when they can - so they can see their name on the screen. While there is no grade or points associated with getting your name on the screen, I have seen it be a motivator for my son to really pay close attention in class and try to be ready to answer questions.

Transcripts are provided for each online session, so if a student misses a session for some reason, they can read the transcript and be caught up with the rest of the class. It is also nice for students to be able to look back through the transcript if they need a refresher on something that was covered in class, or maybe misunderstood. It is nice to be able to go back through examples that were worked in class as they sometimes come up in the homework.

Let me talk a bit about names on the screen. Another great aspect of the online course is that real names are not used. So, the child is allowed to maintain their privacy, plus have a bit of fun with their name. My son chose to keep his online persona of Speedster and his name fit right in with the other names of students in the course.

The largest chunk of work comes from the "homework" associated with the course. In addition to the questions answered in the chapter sections preparing for class, students are provided with two other types of homework - Challenge Problems and Alcumus Problems.

Challenge Problems are just that, those problems that push a little beyond the concepts covered in the text. They are the same type of problem, but they require the student to extrapolate the concept just beyond what was covered in class. Most problems are word problems, which push the student to apply mathematical concepts learned in the text. These problems are graded automatically. How it works is the student will work out the problem and provide their answer, the right answer and solution for working out the problem will not appear until the correct answer is provided. However, there is a "Give up" button that can be pushed when the student feels they have reached their limit and they need to see the problem worked out. I love that the solution is not provided until the correct answer is provided because Speedster has found on several occasions that he took a longer way of answering the problem than was needed. This course is teaching him beautifully to become a more efficient and proficient problem solver. He is learning that it isn't just about getting the right answer, but "how" you get the right answer is important as well. He is also learning that their are often several efficient and correct ways of getting the answer. This isn't a cookie cutter approach to solving problems, this course is all about teaching mathematical thinking.

After about the 2nd or 3rd week of first semester, a writing problem is also required each week as part of the Challenge Problems. These problems require that the student not only answer the question, but explain their answer. These written problems are graded by a real, live person and feedback is robust. The student is given both a technical and stylistic grade. I have found the grades to be very tough, but very, very fair. The graders are very proficient in using the "sandwich" version of feedback. They first acknowledge what the student did correct, then discuss what was incorrect or incomplete, then finish with appropriate praise and encouragement. This is needed because the written problems go beyond anything I have ever seen in a math course, especially one with such young students (Speedster is not the only 5th grader in the course, there are many). For instance, Speedster is slowly learning to think beyond just the "right" answer the pops into his head. Often times the written questions ask students to explore "all possibilities" for a concept. One of the first lessons Speedster learned was to not forget about negative numbers when coming up with possible answers. Another great lesson learned was having ideas about concepts that were just on outside the edge of being correct. For instance, he once answered with a solution that would be correct in "most" instances, but there were some rare instances in which his solution would not be correct. Although they were times he probably wouldn't encounter for the next several years of mathematics, he learned that there are going to be some concepts in the future for which is assumption would be wrong. I love that he is being pushed to think outside of the silos of the math course he is currently in and to be reminded that mathematics concepts build upon one another, speak to each other, inform each other. He is learning the beauty in numbers. The second grade is a stylistic grade, it is based on using proper grammar and mathematics notations. Again, I love this! He is seeing that his grammar lessons do, in fact, have an impact in other areas and if he does want to truly become an aerospace engineer/black hawk pilot/wildlife researcher - he needs to write well just as much as he needs to know mathematics deeply. All hail the cosmos for getting confirmation that scientific minds still need the social sciences!

The second component of homework is Alcumus, which is an adaptive program that covers a more traditional scope and sequence of problems. One thing you will learn about the Art of Problem Solving is that it doesn't look or perform like traditional math courses. You cover things in a sequence that may feel unfamiliar. Also, there is going to be some assumption of proficiency in some topics or students will need to work on some of the more basic math functions outside of what is covered in the text. Behold, Alcumus! Alcumus is wonderful because it adapts to the skill level of the student. It basically assumes a level of proficiency, but if a student gets the problem wrong, it will automatically go back a level and let the student "catch up". However, this is done without it being obvious for the student. There is a colored bar that shows the student where they are in the concept. Red means the concept is unexplored, orange means they are working on the concept, green means they are proficient enough to move on to something new. If they want, they can continue to work and to blue, which means they have mastered the concept. This program is great and really squelched any fear of "gaps" with having such a young student jump to pre algebra in 5th grade for me.

This online program has been a great fit for Speedster. Now, when it comes to reviews there is often times a component of recommendation. So, the question is - would I recommend the Art of Problem Solving online course? The answer is, it depends. This course is amazing for a very specific type of student. The student must be both great in math and also really enjoy math. If a student that was great in math, but didn't enjoy math and enjoy struggling with math to get the correct answer - this course would be a disaster. A perfectionist that always has to be 100% "right" is not going to fare well, because it is really close to impossible to get 100% on the written problems, mainly because they are introducing the student to concepts that it is assumed are well beyond their current level of knowledge. On the reverse side, if a child enjoys math, but isn't great (not good, great) - they can also get discouraged. This class is asking students to again do things that are just beyond what they should be capable of. This class is designed to challenge students that are already exceptional math students. This isn't a class to "teach" pre algebra, this is a class designed to teach the theoretical framework that defines the rules in which preAlgebra operates. This isn't a class of "how" or even "what", it is a class of "why". If your child really needs to spend a significant time on the "how" of things like dividing negative fractions that include exponents, it may be a bit much to ask them to also uncover the theoretical rules driving the why behind that concept as well. The class also moves quickly, so if your child needs a lot of time to digest concepts, the online course may not be a good fit. The book self paced may be excellent, but the course itself moves online with the assumption that the student is moving along with it.  However, if you have a mathy kid that you just haven't been able to keep challenge and you know they want and need more - this is the course for you! Well worth every dollar spent.

Duality - A different face of gifted

When being both/and seems inconsistent with reality.....

Being two different and seemingly opposite things can be hard, being Twice Exceptional or 2E is no exception to this rule of nature. In this video I talk about another "face" of gifted, one that is often misunderstood and seldom discussed with depth or openly invited to participate in the world of gifted. Today, I try to give a bit of a voice to what it is like homeschooling and parenting twice exceptional children.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. Please take a moment to visit others participating in the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum blog hop.

Why #IStandwithAhmed is so Important

The story has now gone viral of a young man, a tinkerer, a maker, an inventor - being arrested at school. The story can be found far and wide, but the short version is 14 year old Ahmed Mohamed built a clock at home in his spare time. He was proud of his invention and took it to school to show one of his teachers. The clock was in his backpack in English class and started to beep. The English teacher asked what it was and when Ahmed pulled it out, the teacher assumed it was a bomb. Ahmed was sent to the principal's office, the police were called, and Ahmed was led out in handcuffs and taken to a detention center. You can read more of the story here: http://news.yahoo.com/muslim-boy-14-arrested-making-clock-mistaken-bomb-114747334.html#

Why such a big response to a kid inventor? It is pretty clear from the report that the response from the school and the police department were the direct result of Ahmed being a Muslim student. In the mind of his English teacher, the principal, the arresting officers, and even the police chief - it was reasonable to assume that Ahmed would make a bomb, but not a clock.

This assumption of ill intention, criminality, of having people really and truly believe the worst in you is a common thing faced by many Black/Brown children and teenagers. While there is no official claim by his family that Ahmed is gifted, he has a hobby that is common to many gifted children, including my own, being a builder, a maker, a tinkerer, and an inventor.

When I first heard the story, my heart sank. I was immediately transported back to the time when I was standing in a room at the daycare center, being told that my eldest, who was 9 month old at the time, was showing signs of violence and aggression. I was shocked and horrified; not my loving little guy! As I prodded to see exactly what behavior the teacher was referring to I was told that he was throwing balls at children and adults. I asked them to demonstrate and they tossed the ball the same way I had seen my son do many times. I asked them a simple question, "Did you ever catch the ball and throw it back?" No, they hadn't. My son had been playing catch with his father for a few weeks, he just wanted to play catch with his daycare teacher and peers. Instead of assuming my little 9 month old baby was smart enough, bright enough, to know how to play catch, they assumed he was a thug in a diaper and was trying to use the little foam ball as a weapon against his teachers and his other classmates. They never saw a gifted child, just a criminal in the making. I was able to advocate for my son and he got his first "grade skip" out of the baby room and into the toddler room with his "peers" who were all playing catch, even though they were all twice his age. It was the first of many grade skips, then I was tired of advocating and fighting against negative stereotypes and we finally brought all three children home.

Seeing Ahmed in handcuffs, I saw my worst fear in front of me. I saw in his expression of fear and confusion the face of my own three makers. I saw the very reason why we had to pull them out of the traditional school system and bring them home to a safe environment. An environment where they can make contraptions and no one assume they are making weapons. Home - where they can explore chemistry and no one assume they are trying to play Jr. terrorist. A place where they can invent and tinker and no one view their innocent hobbies with distrust, or assume their intentions are anything but pure creativity to be applauded and encouraged. But, most Black and Brown makers, inventors, and tinkerers aren't home. Most are not in a safe environment where their passion for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math is encouraged and allowed to thrive and grow. It is for Ahmed and the many children and teens like him that we must show solidarity - across racial and religious lines. This isn't about standing with one young Muslim child that was judged not on the basis of his brilliance, but of negative stereotypes of his religion, but for standing with the thousands of children just like him being viewed with suspicion and distrust, having their innocent passions crushed in a school-to-prison pipeline that can't seem to be plugged with enough force to make it stop for good. Ahmed has gotten support from across the world, including the President of the United States. I am overwhelmed with joy, but there are more like him that we still need to support and encourage.

When I saw Ahmed in a video talking about his clock, I couldn't help but think of Benjamin Banneker and his wooden clock he made with his own hands. It has been a long time since a clock maker changed the way the world viewed him and those of his faith and/or ethnicity. Ahmed, we stand with you today and we look forward to seeing all of your great inventions in the future! Keep making my friend!

F16 Parenting - that space between

Photo: By Limkopi at en.wikipedia [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

I get asked quite a bit about our "parenting philosophy" and I finally started to describe it as being an "F16 Parent". This is somewhere between the concept of the "Helicopter Parent" and the "Free Range Parent". In a nutshell, we give lots of freedom - with a ton of back-up "fire power" if there is the need for intervention. You never know when that safe Bruce Banner loses his mind and goes all Hulk Smash, putting your child in harms way! Here is a video where I give a more in-depth description of what an F16 Parent means to us!

Well, I am off to finish helping my 9 year old pack for his 3 week adventure and polishing up the fighter jet in case it's needed for "reinforcement"

Is Every Child Gifted?

The picture above is a box of "giftedness". Apparently all children have this magically box, some are just told they can't have theirs just yet. Is that helpful or just plain cruel?

Every few months there comes about a blog post or a FB meme stating "Every child is gifted." The latest one rolling around in social media land states, "Every child is gifted, they just unwrap their packages at different times." These memes never answer the question of what do we call children that learn and absorb information at a much higher rate than what we would expect to find in the human population? What should we do with those children? Should we require them to sit in the same class as all the other children (since everyone is gifted) and stare at the wall while everyone else tries to learn what they mastered two years ago? Should we require them to help the teacher get the other students up to their level, using them as unpaid tutors and teacher's aides? Should we give them extra work as punishment for finishing early? Should we tell them "you aren't so smart" and try to find things they suck at in order to embarrass them and bring them down a few pegs? I ask because, these are ALL things that happen when people with the premise that "every child is gifted" are put in charge of the education of gifted children. It becomes a mission to prove that kid really isn't that bright.

If everyone "unwraps their package at different times", why do we make the kids that have already "unwrapped their package" sit and wait while other people try to figure out how to unwrap theirs? Even worse, do the kids who haven't "unwrapped their package" sit around frustrated because everyone is telling them, "You're just as good as Little Johnny, just get that package unwrapped!" while they struggle with concepts that are appropriate for them to be struggling with at that time. Telling EVERY kid that are just as "gifted" as the math genius sitting next to them, or the spelling whiz in the class next door, or the kid down the hall that just got the patent for an invention then sets the precedent that EVERY kid is actually expected to be a math genius or a spelling whiz or a peer reviewed published scientist by the time they reach middle school. What happens when they aren't, but everyone keeps telling them they should be? Have you seen the pressure being put on kids today? Thank the "every child is gifted" folks for that.

Here is the point I think is missed with these "everyone is gifted" commentaries - most people aren't gifted - and they are doing fine in life! Not every leading scientist if gifted. Not every mathematician is gifted. Not every prima ballerina is gifted. Not every spelling bee champ is gifted. A non gifted child can STILL graduate with a 4.5, get a full ride scholarship to a top university, and lead a happy and fulfilling life. Being gifted may put a child ahead in "school" (sometimes), but it by no means puts them ahead in life. What is the point of telling a child they are gifted, just a "late bloomer" when there is absolutely zero lifetime advantage from being gifted? For every Einstein there are thousands of gifted people that became scientists whose names we never, ever read about - because they never did anything "notable". Just like for every Michael Jordan there are thousands of athletically superior basketball players that never played competitively after high school, or just did "okay" in college, or never made it off the bench in the NBA. And then you have the scores of people that played the hand they were dealt and we know their story as well. We know their name because they did something notable in this world.

The problem is - we assume EVERY successful scientist, mathematician, engineer, artist, playwright, etc. is/was "gifted". We have determined that in order to be amazingly successful one must be "gifted". This is the greatest tragedy in the entire debate of whether every child is "gifted". Instead of the conversation being "every child is gifted", why can't we say, "Not every child is gifted, but given the most appropriate tools, attention, experience, and opportunity - every child can be amazing." Gifted is not a one way ticket to an amazing life, it isn't even a head start. Gifted children need different things in their education simply because the way they process information and navigate the world is different. If not provided with those appropriate tools - we limit their chance at being "amazing" - whatever that means for them. It is also true that by trying to force fit children that fit the normal curve of human intelligence into a gifted box and push them in ways that work for gifted kids, but don't work for others - we limit their chance of being amazing - whatever that means for them.

The next time someone finds themselves spouting that "every child is gifted", ask yourself why. Maybe you should think about how harmful it is to a child to tell them they are simply "waiting to unwrap their gift". You are telling them they aren't good enough right now, the way they are. You are telling them they are incomplete and their true self is in a box somewhere - waiting to be let out. You are telling them that they don't currently have what it takes to be good, let alone great. You are telling them the ability to be amazing is somehow off limits and out of reach for them until this mysterious box of "gifted" is unwrapped at some later time. You have, in fact, done the opposite of what your whole "gifted" meme was trying to portray. Instead of telling every child they are special, you have told 90% of all children (because only around 10% of the population would be clinically classified as gifted) that they are behind, stunted in growth, late to bloom, inferior, and in a holding pattern for intelligence and success. You have told them that who they are, today, right now - isn't good enough. And, with the premise that they are the ones who "unwrap" this gift - you have told them it is all their fault.

Please visit: http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/resources/parent-and-professional-resources/articles/are-all-children-gifted/

Depth - the Gifted Child's Number One Passion

"Help your child find their passion!" We all tend to hear these words in one way or another. I remember being able to rattle off the areas of passion for my three gifted children. However, I noticed something. As they got older (and by older I am talking the 5 - 7 age range), their passions seemed to be changing. They would pick something up for three months, then seem to just toss it to the side. However, about a year later they would come back to that discarded topic and start right back where they left off.
At first I got frustrated, but then I realized something. They stuck with a topic until they reached a point where learning more would take skills beyond what they had at that moment. Maybe they would need mathematical concepts they had not yet mastered, maybe they would need a level of abstract reasoning abilities beyond their current level of maturity. Whatever it was, they seemed to know when they hit their limit of what they could understand. What was interesting - if they couldn't learn more, if they couldn't learn deeper - they would rather walk away until they could. Surface level knowledge and understanding just wasn't enough for them.
This is one thing that seems to really set apart gifted children, especially highly to profoundly gifted children. It isn't so much having a passion, it is the way they go about pursuing their passion. The absolute drive to see as deeply inside an object, an area of study, even an idea - is unrelenting.
As our homeschooling journey continues, I am seeing our homeschool diverge even from those we had been traveling with for a while. Other homeschoolers seemed to be able to move swiftly from one topic to another. It might be hydraulics one week and dissections the next. People would look at us and say, "Your kid is still working on solar ovens? We did a solar oven three years ago!"
This expression of surprise was the key to my understanding just how the differences of gifted children manifest in those middle years. It wasn't enough for my eldest to build a solar oven. He had to study it, to see how he could get it to work more efficiently. He had to work with designs and invent new components that he hadn't seen tried before. It was never enough to simply "do" and move on. He couldn't move on until he understood as much as he could; and yes, three years later he is still working on solar ovens. He is also still working on geography, still working on studies of weasels, still working on learning about the environment. My daughter is still working on astronomy. People seemed a bit surprised - "Didn't she do a report on the eight planets when she was five years old, including telling us why Pluto got demoted? Isn't she done?" No, she isn't. At seven years old she understands there are years and years of things left for her to learn. And yes, she is still studying animals and nature. Her twin brother is still, two years later, reading the same book on "building" - he truly wants to understand what it is going to take to be an inventor, a builder, a creator.
I can't name just one passion they have, but I can articulate their number one passion - depth. To other people it looks like my children have simple jumped into a few small puddles - they don't understand that while the surface area of those puddles are small, those puddles are miles deep. My kids can't be finished with a topic by simply completing a project or report - they can't leave until there is nothing more that can be known with their capacity to understand in that moment.
I get we might be left behind while other people move from one project to the next. That is okay - I am focusing on letting my kids pursue their passion.

Why Professor X Needed a School for the Gifted

In this month's Gifted Homeschooler's Forum Blog Hop we got an opportunity to talk about why community was important. Going back to my "mutant roots" let's talk about  why Professor X, of the X-Men, needed a school for the gifted - and why us mere humans need such a community as well.

Hope you enjoy!

Remember - Mutant and Proud!

Join me for a webinar on Teaching the Dyslexic Advantages with a STEM Homeschool

While many people know we have a STEM based homeschool, most don't know the driving reason behind that decision was the way STEM lends itself to maximizing the dyslexic advantages. I learned about the advantages of dyslexia through a book by Drs Brock and Fernette Eide, both MDs. Their book, "The Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain" described the four common advantages, or strengths, associated with dyslexia. I took each of the found "M.I.N.D." strengths and integrated them as fundamental principles in our homeschool with amazing results. The way I integrated those strengths was through have a STEM based homeschool.
After following this philosophy for going into our fourth year, I see my children not only thrive, but exceed my wildest expectation.
I had a conversation with Dr. Fernette Eide, talking to her about our homeschool and how we used the dyslexic advantages and she asked if I would be willing to share what we do in our homeschool with others. I am so excited about the opportunity to do just that with a webinar taking place this Wednesday, October 8th, at 5:30 PM PST. If you would like to attend, please feel free to register at the link below. I will be explaining in depth how we set up a STEM based homeschool, how we integrated the dyslexic advantages into every aspect of our homeschool, and advice for others who think all or parts of this philosophy will work for them. The webinar is free and should last roughly an hour. Hope to see you there. Click on the link below to register.

Click here:
Dyslexic Advantage Webinar: Teaching the Dyslexic Advantages with a STEM Homeschool

Superheroes and Created Villains

Identified gifted children can sometimes look like Superman in their intellectual abilities. Seeing their abilities can make having a Superman seem very desirable. However, in an effort to create a Superhero, we can turn a child's experience into that of a created villain. Let's talk about non-identitification and misidentification.

Please check out some of the other amazing blogs for this month at: http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/giftedness-why-matters/

Parenting Children That Don't Exist

I decided to a vlog instead of a blog for this month's topic of Gifted Parenting. I wanted to take my time with this subject and share my heart in discussing my experience of parenting what I call minority cubed children (gifted, homeschooled, African American). While the video is a bit on the long side, I hope you grab a cup of tea and view!

Feel free to share your heart and comment.

Sincerely,

Dr. J

If All Kids are Gifted, Why Isn't Mine in First Place?

I decided to throw my hat into the ring in response to the “All Children are Gifted” mantra that has reared its head recently. It came about because some parents were upset because their children weren’t identified as “gifted”. Because their children weren’t identified as “gifted” they began to demand that “all children are gifted”, which really means “no children are gifted”. It is a jealous and ill-informed rant, a fear they are being left out of some exclusive club. I honestly think they picture gifted families sitting around on yachts, drinking fruity drinks in diamond rimmed glasses, and laughing as our kids get showered with money, and flowers, and candy. Guess what? That isn’t what happens in gifted families. Take a short trip in my world and I am sure you would thank your lucky stars your kid isn't "gifted".

Let me address the notion that “all children are intellectually gifted”. No one in their right mind would declare that “all children are athletically gifted”. My three, highly to profoundly intellectually gifted children are not athletically gifted. They are, however, athletes. They run track; they LOVE track. My eldest runs quite often against an athletically gifted child, let’s call him “The Rock”. The Rock is a curly haired, skinny, actually pretty short kid that you wouldn’t suspect of being a rock star on the track. All that changes when you see him run the 800 and the 1600 meter dash. Last year they were in the 8 and under category, and over the winter The Rock and my son moved up to the 9 – 10 category. The Rock runs these two races so fast that he has the fastest time for the next 3- 4 age categories consistently. I was so intrigued by his skill I looked up his times and historically, not only would he have made the Olympics if he were running 30 years ago, he would have likely been on the medal stand.

The cold hard facts are that my kid will never beat The Rock. That has not at all dampened my kid’s love of running. In fact, he enjoys running against The Rock, it encourage him to run faster. He likes to lessen the amount of time by which he is beat! I cheer for my kid as if he came in first place. I cheer not to appease, but because I know he is out there giving it his all and when he gives his all that is good enough for him and for me. We don’t need to collect medals or trophies; I just need my kid to do what he loves to the best of his ability. I also love watching The Rock run. It is a thing of beauty to see that kid in action, what the human body can do when it is doing what that particularly body is designed to do perfectly well – is stunning. My other kids like to cheer for both their brother “Speedster” (who is probably dead last in the race) and The Rock – who is running like the wind. They too can recognize giftedness and realize that Speedster and the Rock are two different types of runners. One is showing what giftedness, given an opportunity to shine, looks like. The other is showing that every race is personal, and having the courage to go, and run, and finish – outside of medal contention, outside of being put on a pedestal with cameras clicking, to only the 4 or 5 voices shouting from the crowd still watching you run – an entire lap behind the rest of the field, it is still worth competing.

At no point have I ever asked the U S A Track and Field Associated to ban The Rock. Never have I asked any sports venue to stop giving out medals. Never have I grabbed the microphone and declare that “all kids are gifted runners” because my kid wasn’t on the medal stand. I feel nothing but joy for The Rock. I am genuinely proud that I get an opportunity to witness this athletically gifted child come into his own as a track star. We often talk about how my Speedster will one day tell a group of friends while they watch The Rock run in the Olympics – yeah, I ran against him when he was 8 years old! My son would lose out on so much if The Rock ever stopped running because people got mad that he wins every, single 800 and 1600 that he enters. Oh wait, that isn’t true. The Rock doesn’t win every one. While he is the fastest in our state, he isn’t the fastest in the country. Sometimes he comes in second, or third, or fifth when he gets an opportunity to compete against his true peers. This year summer my family is looking forward to traveling to a national competition. My 3 kids will be participating in a triathlon and they might even get to compete in the national event (slowly they are getting better; sometimes they don’t come in last place). I am quite sure they won’t win, even if they quality to compete. They know it too, but they will run anyway. They are running for themselves, not chasing medals or rainbows. Just like their athletically gifted counterparts are running for themselves, and getting medals and applause because society enjoys seeing how close the human body can get to perfection.

If everyone is “gifted” in everything, then no one is good at anything. Maybe the issue isn’t whether or not children should be identified as “gifted”, but that parents should stop being happy only if their child is identified as some sort of “elite” in everything that they do. Chances are, your 6 year old will never “catch” my 6 year old daughter in math. She finished Kindergarten, First Grade, and Second Grade math in 4 months’ time – at 5 years old. Just to be “sure” she knew her stuff, I gave her a different Second Grade math book – she finished it in 5 weeks. She was adding with binary numbers, just for fun, at 5 years old as well. She sometimes wanted us to read her math books as her bedtime story.  Does your child do that? If not, they are probably not intellectually gifted. To tell yourself that they are is to create unreasonable expectations for your child. Unless we start to define being “intellectually gifted” as being a typical 5 year old. At that point, it will be clear that my daughter is something “other” than that, and before you know it there will be some other title that you will have to find a way to tear down and destroy because you can’t bear to hear some other child get applause.

It is a scary world where people parent in a way that won’t allow their children to still feel comfortable and confident with themselves  if others are better than them at one thing or another. My kids have tasted last place and it still went down like honey because they were brave enough to try, to get out there and run, to give it their all. Sometimes my daughter meets another 6 year old that can crush her in math – she still loves math. See, it doesn’t hurt my daughter to understand there are people out there in the world that are better than her in some things, in a lot of things. My job as a parent is not to go chop the world down to a size that will make my kids always a winner, my job is to help my children find their passions in life and pursue them with gusto. My job is to help my children fly as high as they can. In some things, like track – they may fly as low as a bumblebee. They will fly low, slow, choppy, and won’t be noticed much at all. Other times they will soar like eagles and people will watch them in amazement. No matter if they are having a bumblebee moment or an eagle moment – they will always have a mother and a father there cheering them on, simply because they are flying. I personally wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror if in their bumblebee moment, I got embarrassed and decided to try and destroy the innocent eagles flying around them.

The musings of Gifted and Sensory Processing Disorder

Sometimes people wonder why I talked about my kids being "gifted" so often. It isn't really about the IQ, but more about wanting to give people a glimpse into the full aspects of the world. One of the more common traits discussed among parents of gifted children is the issue of Sensory Processing Disorder, often referred to as Over Excitability. I am linking a video I did a while ago to show how the issues with Kel El/Clarke Kent in a school room were so similar to what happens with my kids. That is why I liken gifted children to Superman. When you have gifted children, you see one of the biggest things to Kel El struggles with - loneliness. It doesn't matter if he/she is in a public school/private school/ or homeschool, it is rare to find highly to profoundly gifted children with a lot of friends. Most gifted kids struggle with "fitting in" not because they are smart, but because they are different. Not just a little different. It is easy to understand how a child 2 - 3 standard deviations below the "norm" are different, we have so much compassion and empathy - we teach this empathy to our children. We rarely sit back and evaluate that 2 - 3 standard deviations above the norm is just as different and that difference shines through in sensory issues.
The easiest example for me to share is the sensory issue of hearing. We struggle often with my children and their hearing and it isn't because they can't hear - but because they hear too well. My daughter has had her hearing tested so often I am losing track. She failed her first hearing test as a newborn, then she passed the second one - they eventually concluded that maybe the machine was broken. It wasn't. My daughter fights with her hearing and turns it "off" and "on" regularly. Why? Because when her hearing is "on" she tops out every machine tried on her for testing human hearing. Meaning as high as the machine can test - she can hear at that range. Her range of hearing is literally "off the charts", meaning when they go to chart her range of hearing, the marks are above what the chart records - because so few humans can hear that well. While good normal human hearing is great, extreme hearing is debilitating. Imagine sitting in a room and hearing every, single, solitary noise that can be picked up by the human ear. Imagine hearing things other people can't hear. No really - what happens when my daughter is in a group and keeps asking people "did you hear that guy laugh?" No, they didn't hear that guy laugh, because they guy was laughing 3 rooms away with the door closed. No one even sees the guy or knows he is in a room 3 doors away - so she becomes the kid that is "hearing things". Do you want to play with a kid that "hears things"? Things no one else in a room of 20 other people hear? How would you feel if you ALWAYS heard things other people said they couldn't hear? Would you begin to feel a little crazy? In an effort to stop some of the noise, my daughter's body will automatically turn her hearing off when it just gets too much - she goes from hearing too much to not hearing thing she should. So, this little girl that was hearing a guy laugh 3 rooms away now can't hear someone calling her name. Now, take this phenomenon and apply it to all the other senses as well - taste, touch, smell, sight.
See why your kid hitting my kid "for fun" is such a big deal? Because my kid's sense of tough is so heightened that it really did hurt, even if you kids was "just kidding". I don't keep my kids in a bubble - they have to go out in the world and live their life and make friends and all that other good stuff. It's just hard that they are constantly reminded that thing aren't quite made "for them". It really is like being "Superman". Sure they can do math with ease and read even with dyslexia and discuss with great detail some of the finer points of structural engineering. But, at the end of the day - sometimes you just want to hear the birds and the breeze; sometimes you just want to smell the rain, sometimes you just want to touch the soft petals of a rose, sometimes you want to just play a fun game of tag. Being young, with sensory issues - means all of those things take my kids great lengths to experience - because they have to filter out hundreds of other sounds, smells, touches, tastes, etc. You can just eat a piece of cake, they can taste every ingredient in the cake with each bite. This is one of the reasons my kids request one thing to eat every day - rice. Just plain white rice - everything else is just so absolutely complicated. Sure, they like sweets, but those things are tiring for the body and mind because they are processing so much information just eating a cookie. My eldest had an allergic reaction to an ingredient the FDA still declares humans cannot have an allergic reaction to, so it isn't required to be on food labeling. Now, even I love rice.
So, when I say "Gifted" - don't get mad. Other people put all that pressure on "gifted" to mean something it was never intended to mean. Just like Kel El declare on his chest - it wasn't an "S". So even though everyone declared him "Superman" based on the "S" on his shirt - it wasn't even an "S" to begin with. Even though everyone thinks parents are bragging about our kids being "Smart" when we say they are "Gifted"; newsflash - it isn't an "S"

Let the Projects Begin!

This year I decided to add a research project to our homeschooling plans. I wasn't sure exactly how it would go, my kids are still a bit young. All I can say is "wow"! My daughter decided to do a report about cats. I had in my mind it would take her at least a month to work on her report, it took her 2 days! I think this is because she really wanted a venue where she really got to talk about everything she knew about cats! Everyone that deals with gifted children understands that are deep wells of information. When they have a passion, there is no limit to what they can consume regarding that topic. However, when do they get to "let it all out", where is their forum to share with others their proficient synthesis of all that information? It is now official, we are hooked on projects!
My eldest is doing his report on ferrets (his passion). Since he is older (3rd grade), I have added a few required elements to his report. One of those is to get out there and interview some real individuals that know a thing or two about ferrets. His first stop will be to a local pet store where he has an appointment to speak with their "ferret specialist", she has even told him she will take some of the ferrets out of the cage and allow him to play with them (thanks, because we are NOT ready for a pet in our house). Teaching him that books are great, but some face time with a real life professional that can discuss things with you is a life lesson I really want to instill in him. He has been reading books, I have been reading books to him, and he has been listening to audio books - he is consuming this project. He has even been working diligently on his report cover.
It actually feels good to see Gardner's Multiple Intelligences in action. As my kids are delving into their projects, I am seeing them embrace the experience as something beyond "book work". They see a purpose behind what they are doing, and it excites them.
The "other half" of the Wonder Twins (as they like to call themselves) is still deciding on his topic. He is having trouble deciding on pigs or puppies as his theme. I am letting him take his time as I see a driving force for success and engagement is passion and interest in the topic being studied. There is no rush, he is only in the First grade - there is plenty of time.
A final aspect that I see as important with projects is a final outlet, a grand ending, a point and a purpose behind the whole event. For my daughter, she made her Youtube debut by giving her report on camera (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pql-MCxkHeI) it made her feel accomplished. She was excited to get a chance to the "the world" the efforts of her work. Sure, it has less than 100 views (and most of those are probably family members), but it wasn't about going viral, but giving her a forum.  I decided to give each child a choice in their final forum for every project they complete. It might be a Youtube video, a presentation to Grandma and Grandpa, or presented at a local college (something they have planned for chemistry projects they are working on). The point is for them to share their work, an aspect that I sometimes see missing from project based assignments.
It has been quite a fun experience thus far!

Twice Exceptional

I know a lot of people hate labels, but it works for me when I can name things. Anyone looking at my education plans for my kids will notice a big dichotomy - my kids seem to do lots of things above grade level and also have a lot of therapy. The educational "label" for that is Twice Exceptional. All three of my kids are highly/profoundly gifted - they have IQ's in the roughly 98th percentile, but they also have learning disabilities. This is one reason a traditional education environment would never work for them.

There are many people that think IQ doesn't matter, and it doesn't when it comes to most adults. However, understanding that a child is "gifted" - a term I dislike, but a label that is helpful in understanding the educational needs of a child, answers a lot of questions. For instance, normal development requires a child to experience seven repetitions of information before they have acquired new information. For a gifted child, only one to two repetitions are needed. As you can see, this makes a traditional classroom setting torture for a gifted child. Yes, they really do "get it" after they heard it the first time. Imagine sitting in a meeting and having to listen to a speaker drone on and on and on about a topic you mastered four hours ago. Now, imagine having to go to the meeting eight hours a day, five days a week, 9 months out of the year - and then have to come back and do it again for a total of 12 years. At the same time, most teachers hate having truly gifted children in the classroom. Gifted children account for approximately 10% of the population, and only 3% of gifted children are profoundly gifted (about 10% are highly gifted). Who wants to do lesson planning for a child that already knows everything that is supposed to be learned in that grade level (as well as one to two grade levels beyond that) the first day of class? What are you going to do with this kid? What happens in many classrooms is those kids are used as unpaid teacher's aid, being assigned to help struggling students. This is unfair to everyone involved. First, students should be in school to learn and if a gifted child is not allowed to learn anything new, why should they be in school. Secondly, struggling students should be taught by a teacher, if a 7 year old could truly be an effective teacher in a 2nd grade classroom - what are all those colleges of education for? Some parents of gifted children choose grade skipping as an option, but this isn't always an ideal situation. With things like Common Core Curriculum, even what is taught 2 - 3 grade levels above a gifted child may already be mastered. Secondly, grade skipping can make a gifted child an easy target for bullies; they may understand the academic content, but don't have the life experience or "street smarts" to make it in a room with kids 2, 3, or more years above them. This is one of the reasons half of all profoundly gifted children are home schooled.

Another layer of gifted is that many gifted children also have learning disabilities. This is a situation I have never met a teacher that was trained to deal with. For instance, my eldest went to a private Kindergarten. He was grade skipped into Kindergarten (a one year grade skip) and was still labeled one of the better readers in the class. However, he was also dyslexic. How do you teach one of the best readers in the class how to read? Most teachers aren't trained to spot gifted guessers. My son could memorize an entire book page by page - ask him to read any page in the book and he did it flawless - by memory. Gifted dyslexics also read by "gist", once they figure out the overall theme and where the book is going, they pretty much have it covered. For instance, I am a gifted dyslexic and I can conquer a 300 page book in a matter of hours. I don't read word for word, I take in entire paragraphs - literally. I may read 5% of the words in a paragraph, but I can tell you exactly what the paragraph was about, answer questions about the concept, and even accurately teach the concept to others - just don't ask me about obscure details - like what the color of the main character's hat was. I am sure that information was in the text, but my brain never processed it. My eldest reads above grade level, but he is dyslexic and sense he doesn't qualify for services (because in most states you aren't diagnosed with dyslexia unless you read below grade level), we have to tackle the issue ourselves.

My kids, like many gifted children, also deal with sensory issues, labeled "sensory processing disorder". It isn't that their senses don't work, they just work overtime. This creates sensory overload to an extraordinary scale. For instance, my kids hear literally "off the charts", meaning their hearing is more sensitive than what most hearing tests can measure. Because they hear in levels confined to animals, not humans, in order to function they have learned to actively tune things out. Unfortunately, they can overcompensate and tune out too much information - causing them to miss when people are calling their name, or miss the nuance of phonics. So, what looks like a hearing problem is actual a hearing super ability that must be trained, not fixed. Profoundly gifted children learn through all their senses well beyond the baby stage. We understand babies learn vast amount of information through taste and touch, but most people switch to learning based on hearing and sight as they get older. Not profoundly gifted children, they continue to take in vast amounts of information through their senses. However, they are pushed into a world with a ton more sensory input than what a baby would be pushed in to. We know not to take babies some places because it would be "too much", what happens to a 7 year old that continues to take in and process through every sense, all the information around them? What happens tends to be sensory overload - with meltdowns most people consider "inappropriate" for their age. This is why gifted children tend to be misdiagnosed with things like ADD/ADHD. They melt down, a LOT, when they are overwhelmed. However, they can be overwhelmed in most environments because we live in a sensory rich environment. Take for instance a traditional school. Even though there are walls (sometimes) and doors separating classrooms - sensory rich gifted children can literally hear through those walls. How frustrating would it be to hear conversations going on not only in your classroom, but the classrooms on either side of you - in addition to not only hearing your teacher lecture, but the teachers on both sides of the classroom. You also smell everyone's lunch box in your class, perfume, shampoo, soap residue, scented lotion, and anything else with the faintest smell? Then there is touch - you feel your socks, the tag on the back of your neck, your shoes feel tight, your jeans feel stiff and itchy. Not to mention the touching that happens by accident, an innocent bump feels like a push, a friendly pat on the back feels like a punch - you never quite know if people are trying to hurt you on purpose or not. I won't go in to taste - but you get the idea. These children aren't "broken", in fact, this might be the way man was really intended to work - experiencing the world fully. If we all took in our surroundings with all of our senses, the world would be a much more calm, quiet, and gentle place. Most profoundly gifted children have food sensitivities to the poisons that have been introduced into our food supply - food coloring, HFCS, excessive gluten - their bodies know when they are being poisoned. If we were all that sensitive, Monsanto would never have been about to run rugged over our food supply.

2E children are often mislabeled simply because people are so afraid of the gifted label. Gifted is often identified by an IQ test, but that isn't the only way. However, it is clear gifted children, especially profoundly gifted children are different. A child 2 - 3 standard deviations above the "average" child is just as different than a child 2 - 3 standard deviations below. There is plenty of empathy for mentally challenged children - we create environments that take in account their needs; I have yet to see a "calm and quiet" area of a playground designed for profoundly gifted children.

I talk a lot about gifted children, mainly because most people don't. The is often the cry of "all children are gifted" - oh really? So do you also decline birthday party invitations because you know the lights, sounds, and smells will be too much for your child? Do you purchase thousands of dollars in books and other educational materials because your child learns at such a fast pace they go through entire grade levels within weeks (my 5 year old daughter finished an entire K and an entire 1st grade math program specifically for gifted children in 8 weeks - 2 years worth of math learned in 8 weeks time). Do you spend time cutting the tags off of clothing, schedule playdates one or two children at a time, worry about the emotional sensitivity? Oh yes, the emotional sensitivity. I didn't even start to discuss that one. The strong sense of justice, the wondering about the universe, the understanding of how deeply it hurts when people are cruel, the internalizing of pain, hurt, and despair that leads to much higher levels of depression and even suicide. I remember weeping bitterly at the story of a young, profoundly gifted black teenager in NY. She was such an amazing writer, her poems and stories were so absolutely deep and profound, she was wise beyond her years. But she was still just 14, she didn't yet have the life skills necessary to deal with the cruelty of the world - so she jumped. She jumped to her death by leaping from the 4th story of an abandoned building. Smart enough to know just how high to go to ensure she would die. That is the deep, dark secret of gifted children - they know. They know just how filled with lies much of the story they are taught. They understand what it means to "colonize" a country, the know what the Spanish did to the native inhabitants of the "New World", they know the Emancipation Proclamation only freed slaves in the rebel states, and most importantly - the know life isn't fair. They know life is never going to be fair. Many people home school their gifted children so we can teach them, in the most gentle environment possible, how to deal with an unfair world. How to find joy in pain, how to create your own happy, how to make the pain external instead of internal, how to hit a wall instead beating themselves up in their mind, how to kick a bully's ass instead of feeling like they themselves are less then worthy of dignity and respect. The world has no love for gifted children; well world - screw you!

Oh yea, back to 2E. My kids are 2E and Twice Exceptional is a great way to describe them. This means I must be twice exceptional in meeting their educational needs. Often joke about the meme of female = Iron Man. In many ways, it isn't a joke. I often do need the money, humor, and genius of Tony Stark to meet their needs. But, it's all good, because I am, in fact - Iron Man - (female; fe = iron, male = man)